Raised on Romance: Unlearning the Fairy Tale and Reclaiming Real Love
We were raised on a fantasy. Movies, songs, and stories fed us a version of love that was all magic and rescue—with none of the truth. In this post, we unravel the myth and talk about what it means to unlearn performative love and build something real.
Raised on Romance: Unlearning the Fairy Tale and Reclaiming Real Love
We didn’t learn love—we learned a script.
From the time we were kids, the world taught us what love was supposed to look like:
The kiss that fixes everything.
The boy who chases.
The fight that ends in forever.
The “you complete me” moment.
The idea that if it’s hard, it’s passionate.
That love is earned by being beautiful, sweet, or broken in the right way.
We didn’t grow up being taught how to love—we grew up being sold it.
Wrapped in romantic soundtracks.
Drenched in Disney nostalgia.
Packaged in stories where the woman gets her worth when the man picks her.
And we believed it.
What That Programming Did to Us
Let’s call it out. That fairy tale love blueprint had consequences:
We confused intensity with intimacy
We believed jealousy was love
We waited to be chosen instead of choosing ourselves
We thought conflict meant we were doing something wrong
We accepted emotional chaos as proof that it was “real”
And worst of all—we looked for someone to complete us, instead of learning how to feel whole on our own.
Love Was Never Supposed to Look Like That
The love we were raised to crave?
It was performance-based.
It was external validation.
It was a fantasy designed for the screen—not real life.
Because here’s the truth:
Love doesn’t always look like fireworks—it often looks like consistency
Love isn’t a grand gesture—it’s everyday showing up
Love doesn’t rescue you—it holds you while you rescue yourself
Love doesn’t mean chaos—it means safety
Unlearning the Fantasy: What Real Love Actually Feels Like
Real love isn’t a performance—it’s a practice.
Here’s what it looks like once you start unlearning the myth:
1. You stop chasing butterflies and start chasing peace
That anxious high from unpredictability? That’s not love. That’s your nervous system reliving trauma. Real love feels safe—not addictive.
2. You stop needing someone to read your mind
You communicate. Clearly. Honestly. Even if your voice shakes. You stop hoping they “just know” and you start being known.
3. You start choosing love that doesn’t require you to shrink
You don’t need to be softer, quieter, less intense. You don’t need to dim anything. The right love amplifies you.
4. You let go of needing love to look a certain way
Sometimes love looks like boundaries.
Sometimes love is quiet.
Sometimes it’s healing in sweatpants and grocery store dates and deep talks at midnight.
Not every love story comes with violins.
But the real ones come with freedom.
Healing Means Rewriting the Script
It’s okay if you’re still unlearning.
It’s okay if you still crave the fantasy sometimes.
It’s okay if you believed the movies.
You’re human.
But now? You get to write your own story.
One that isn’t written in rom-com tropes, but in real connection.
Not waiting for someone to save you.
Not begging to be chosen.
Not confusing chaos for chemistry.
This Is Kinetic Takeover
This is your love story now:
🔥 You choose yourself first.
🛡 You stop settling for scripted roles.
🧿 You build love on truth—not tension.
Because when you strip away the fairytale, what’s left is real.
And real is where the sacred lives.
